The gift between the two people getting married is the one nobody plans, and it is usually opened alone on the morning of the wedding — which changes what it should be.
In this guide
- When to give it
- Gifts from the groom
- Gifts from the bride
- Gifts that work either way
- Write the letter
- Budget
When to give it
The morning of, delivered by a member of the wedding party, is the tradition and it works: you are both nervous, separated, and about to have the biggest day of your lives. A gift and a letter at that moment lands harder than anything given later.
Some couples do it at the rehearsal dinner instead, which is calmer and lets you watch them open it.
Gifts from the groom
- A piece of jewellery to be worn on the day
- A letter — genuinely the most-kept item on this entire list
- A watch, engraved with the date on the back
- A framed photograph of the two of you from before anyone knew
- A booked surprise for the honeymoon, revealed in a card
- A perfume that will become the smell of the wedding
Gifts from the bride
- A watch or cufflinks engraved with the date
- A leather notebook, wallet or dopp kit with his initials
- A bottle of something to be opened on the tenth anniversary
- A photograph of the two of you in a frame for his side of the room
- A letter, again — do not skip this
- Something for the getting-ready room: whisky, a record, a shared ritual
Gifts that work either way
- Matching vow books, exchanged before the ceremony
- A locket or keepsake carrying a photograph of someone missing from the day
- A first-edition of a book that matters to you both
- A print of the words you are about to say
- A luggage tag pair for the honeymoon
- A commissioned illustration of where you met
Write the letter
Every couple who exchanged letters says it was the best part of the morning. Every couple who did not says they wish they had. Write it by hand, keep it under a page, and be specific rather than poetic — the moment you decided, the thing they do that you love, what you are looking forward to.
Budget
There is no expectation here and no audience. A $20 letter and a framed photograph beat a $500 object given without thought. If money is tight this is the easiest gift on the entire wedding budget to do beautifully for nothing.
From Sagevow
If you want a gift that isn't on the registry and won't be duplicated, personalised keepsakes are the safest bet at any budget.
