You have already spent $1,200 to attend. Here is what is actually expected, and how to send something that arrives in one piece.
In this guide
- Your travel is part of the gift
- Do not carry it there
- What travels well if you must bring something
- Gifts that suit a destination couple
- If you cannot attend
- The gift that costs nothing
Your travel is part of the gift
Attending a destination wedding costs guests $800 to $2,500. Couples who choose that format know it. A gift of $50 to $100 with a good card is entirely appropriate, and many couples explicitly ask for nothing at all.
Do not carry it there
Do not put a wrapped object in your luggage. It gets damaged, it takes space you need, and the couple then has to fly it home. Send gifts to their home address before or after the wedding — this is the one context where the old rule about bringing gifts to the venue is simply wrong.
What travels well if you must bring something
- A card with cash or a transfer confirmation
- Something flat: a print, a photograph, a letter
- A small keepsake box or piece of jewellery
- A voucher or a booking confirmation printed out
- Anything under 200 grams that does not break
Gifts that suit a destination couple
- A contribution to the honeymoon, which often follows straight on
- A print of the venue or the island, commissioned
- Luggage tags for the trips after this one
- A photo book of the trip, made afterwards from everyone's photographs
- A restaurant voucher for their home city, for the week they get back
If you cannot attend
Send a gift, and send it to their home. A decline for a destination wedding usually comes with real regret on both sides, and a thoughtful gift plus a note that says you wish you could be there does more than the amount you spend.
The gift that costs nothing
Photographs. Guests at destination weddings take thousands and share almost none. Collect everyone's into one shared album and send the link a fortnight after — couples consistently rank it above anything wrapped.
From Sagevow
If you want a gift that isn't on the registry and won't be duplicated, personalised keepsakes are the safest bet at any budget.
