Everything a wedding guest needs to know about gifts, in the order the questions actually come up.
In this guide
- Am I obliged to give one?
- How much?
- Registry or something else?
- Bring it or send it?
- Timing
- Group gifts, and the card
Am I obliged to give one?
If you are invited, a gift is expected — whether or not you attend. If you decline, send something anyway; that is the one case where etiquette is unambiguous. The only exception is when the couple has explicitly asked for nothing, and even then most guests send a card with something small.
How much?
$75 to $200 covers most guests in 2026, scaled by closeness rather than by the cost of your dinner. Coworkers and distant relatives at the lower end, close friends and family higher. Travel costs legitimately reduce the amount — if you have spent $700 to be there, $75 and a good card is correct.
Registry or something else?
Buy from the registry if there is one. It removes duplication and it is what the couple has actually asked for. Going off list is fine if you know them well and are giving something personal — a keepsake with the date, a framed photograph, a commissioned print.
Never buy off list and also expect to be thanked for your originality.
Bring it or send it?
Send it. Gifts posted to their home before or within a fortnight after the wedding are easier for everyone than a table of parcels someone has to transport at midnight. Cards and cash go with you on the day; objects go by post.
Timing
- Any time from the invitation arriving to two months after the wedding
- Before the wedding is ideal — it spreads the couple's admin
- The old “one year to give a gift” rule is obsolete; two months is the norm
- If you are late, send it anyway with a note; nobody minds
- Shower and engagement gifts do not replace the wedding gift
Group gifts, and the card
Going in together on one substantial gift is entirely correct and often the best value. Put every name on the card and write something specific — the card is the part of your gift the couple will read more than once, and it is the part most guests treat as an afterthought.
From Sagevow
Wording matters more than almost anything else in wedding stationery. Every suite we print is proofed with you before it goes to press.
