The honest answer to the most-searched wedding question, with the numbers people actually spend rather than the ones etiquette columns recommend.
In this guide
- The current numbers
- What actually changes the number
- If you are travelling
- If you cannot attend
- Cash, transfer, or an object
- Groups
The current numbers
In 2026 the typical US wedding gift is $75 to $200. Coworkers and distant relatives cluster around $75 to $100; friends around $100 to $150; close friends and family $150 to $300; wedding party and immediate family often more.
The old rule about covering the cost of your plate is dead, and it deserved to be. It made the gift a function of the couple's budget rather than yours.
What actually changes the number
- How close you are — the only factor that genuinely matters
- Whether you are attending, and whether you are bringing a plus-one
- Whether you have already given at an engagement party and a shower
- Travel and accommodation costs — these legitimately reduce the gift
- Your own financial situation, which nobody is auditing
If you are travelling
A destination wedding costs guests $800 to $2,500 to attend. Your presence at that price is unambiguously the gift, and $50 to $100 with a good card is entirely correct. Couples who host destination weddings understand this; the ones who do not are not couples worth over-spending for.
If you cannot attend
Send something. It is the one situation with a clear etiquette answer: a gift is more expected when you decline than when you attend, and $50 to $100 is standard. Send it to their home, not the venue, and include a card that explains you are sorry to miss it.
Cash, transfer, or an object
Cash is welcome almost everywhere now and is the most useful thing most couples receive. A transfer with a message is fine; cash in a card is fine; a honeymoon fund contribution is fine. If you find cash impersonal, pair a smaller amount with one small personalised object — that combination lands better than either alone.
Groups
Going in together on one substantial gift is the best value for everyone: five people at $60 buys something the couple could not otherwise justify. Name everyone on the card, and pick something that lasts rather than something big.
From Sagevow
If you want a gift that isn't on the registry and won't be duplicated, personalised keepsakes are the safest bet at any budget.
