The short answer: send it. Here is why the tradition changed and what to do with cards and cash.
In this guide
- Why sending is now standard
- When to bring it anyway
- Never bring it to a destination wedding
- Cards and cash on the day
- Timing windows
- If it arrives damaged or late
Why sending is now standard
A wedding produces a table of parcels that someone — usually a parent or the couple themselves — has to load into a car at midnight, in formal clothes, after a long day. Retailers ship to the door, registries are online, and couples overwhelmingly prefer gifts to arrive at home.
Send physical gifts to their home address. Take cards and cash with you.
When to bring it anyway
- The couple has asked for gifts at the venue
- It is a small wedding at a family home
- The gift is a card, an envelope or something pocket-sized
- You are family and will be helping pack up regardless
- There is a designated gift table and someone assigned to it
Never bring it to a destination wedding
Do not fly with a wrapped gift. It gets damaged, it costs you luggage allowance, and the couple then has to get it home across a border. Post it to their house before you go, or after you return.
Cards and cash on the day
Take the card with you and hand it to the couple or put it in the designated box. Write your names clearly on the envelope — every couple ends up with two or three unsigned cash envelopes and no way to write a thank-you note.
If you would rather transfer, do it that week and write the card by hand anyway.
Timing windows
Before the wedding is genuinely the kindest option — it spreads the couple's admin and means the thank-you notes can start early. Up to two months after is completely normal. The old rule allowing a year is long gone.
If it arrives damaged or late
Contact the retailer, not the couple. They will have no idea what was in the box and no interest in managing a return during their honeymoon. Sort it quietly and let them know only if a replacement is coming.
From Sagevow
Wording matters more than almost anything else in wedding stationery. Every suite we print is proofed with you before it goes to press.
